School Daze Confession

So I had a moment which my Issues Professor would define as role conflict.  You can all feel free to rank on me after I tell my story, but this is my moment in time where all my worlds collided…

The other night, at around 2 am, my 3 year old daughter woke up in her bed hysterical.  She had obviously had a bad dream.  I am a light sleeper normally but being overly exhausted, I was trying to silently ignore her.  I even heard my husband grunt and I knew he was trying to do the same.

After an exhaustingly long minute, we knew she wasn’t going to stop crying.  My husband made a lame attempt at getting out of bed, calling her to come to our bedroom.  She got up and wandered to the foot of our door and just stopped.  I asked her to come to bed.  She refused to move and continued sobbing.  In my half sleeping haze I got up and knelt down in front of her and asked her to stop crying.  I told her she could come to bed and sleep with mommy and daddy.  She did not respond and continued sobbing.  I responded by doing my countdown…1!…..2!…..2 and a half!….and she still would not stop sobbing.  At this point I lost it.  It was the night before a huge midterm exam and I blurted out the first thing on my mind… Please STOP crying!  You are costing mommy 10 points on her exam!  Stop crying now!  I said you could come sleep with us.  Why won’t you stop crying!  Mommy needs to do well on this exam!  You’re costing me points!  Please stop crying! She continued to stand there crying. You’re going to wake up the baby! All I could think about was how it was all going to go downhill from here.  My son would wake up crying and then I’d have to feed him and soothe him and rock him back to sleep… and how I’d then be fully awake and unable to go back to sleep.  It was all going to be over then.

My husband then came around and swooped her up into his arms and took her to bed, giving me that death stare and he didn’t even have to say it… You crazy woman!  Yelling at your 3 year old about points on an exam!  Do you think she knows what you are talking about!  She had a bad dream and you’re worried about points on an exam!  Shame on you!  Shame on you!

The minutes her head hit her hello kitty pillow in Mommy and Daddy’s bed, she was sound asleep.  None the wiser to mommy’s crazy ranting and raving about stupid points on her exam.  I hung my head in shame, checked on the sleeping baby and went back to sleep.