Jon & Kate Plus 8 MINUS Jon
Is it just me or is the news about Jon & Kate so sad. I know many people have opinions about the show, and of course Jon & Kate. Call me a SAP, but I was really rooting for them. Maybe it’s just being a mom that makes me have sympathy for them. Some might say they exploited their children for money, and point fingers at Kate mostly. Others also might criticize their parenting which is on display for the whole world to see. I can’t help but to be understanding. I think most people forget how young they are. Although I’m sure I knew this before, having Jon say he’s only 32 years old, made any criticism I had if any, a non-point. I’m 31 years old and trying my best to manage one child, fearing a household with two soon… and they’ve got 8! I’m sure that having so many children has changed them both. At the beginning of the show I appreciated the Yin and Yang of their relationship and often, to the rolling of my husband’s eyes, related. I dub myself Kate and my husband Jon. He’s definitely more relaxed than I am and often takes parenting cues from me. I’ve had those Kate moments where I wished my DH husband would grow up. It works for us, although if we had 8 kids… Having children forces us to grow up a lot faster than many of us even expected. You can try your best to be prepared, but nothing ever quite prepares you for parenthood, even if you were the most motherly of your friends. As parents, we’re not perfect and yet we hold this couple up to an insane amount of scrutiny. Yes, they asked for this in some ways, but I’m sure they didn’t think it would come to this. I’m not saying I agree with all of there choices, some of Jon’s as Kate said were questionable, but they’re young and they’re learning just like we have, on the job. I’ve definitely had moments where I’ve lost my cool for one reason or another. I can’t sit and beat myself up over it again and again. I have to learn and move on. Sometimes it takes more than one time to reinforce a change in behavior, but that’s what we do as parents. As a mom I sympathize most with Kate. We’re held up to a much higher standard than father’s are. We’re suppose to keep the family together with a smile on our face all the time. How we do it is what is being scrutinized on a daily basis. Kate runs the ship, but it has to be done and I think that’s what everyone forgets. She’s tough and firm and highly scheduled, but isn’t that how it should be? Haven’t we read enough studies on how kids thrive in stability, with rules and structure. I think that is exactly what Kate is trying to do while having a 9th child in Jon. I don’t know what it is about father’s, but many don’t begin to really embrace the role of parenting until much later on. Mom’s are moms from the moment of conception. We’re ON the job right from the start. We’re willing to sacrifice anything and so much while father’s seemed to think they don’t have to give up anything at all. When they finally face that there lives have changed, they reluctantly and unwillingly, sometimes grudgingly give up little by little. What I hate most is when they seem to question if we’re doing enough. I appreciate the father’s who do appreciate their wives as mothers. Most recently a close family friend laughed at my DH’s inability to give up golf. He simply stated and most appropriately so, he hasn’t grown up yet or embraced his responsibilities huh? Nope, its still a bargaining chip. He thinks he can give a little to get his golf game — the grudgingly, reluctant, unwillingness to give up anything for fatherhood. So he’ll give me a little home renovation for a chance to play golf, completely forgoing the parenting part. Shouldn’t the give a little, get a little involve parenting? I guess the old rule still stands true, women mature faster then men.
So today I grieve for Jon & Kate plus their eight little munchkins. Some still think this is a publicity stunt, but I think the feelings are real and very raw… and I hope they do find some peace in all of this… No one should be pointing fingers until they’ve walked in their shoes. We can all assume we might do things differently but might be shocked to see what happens if it really became reality for us.