We just days away from our trip to Hershey Park, courtesy of GM and my heart is already aching.  Why?  Because my son, nicknamed the “walking time-bomb” — the allergist’s words, not mine — can not go.  Yes, his attendance to this magical place would go against doctor’s orders. I was stupidly, more than optimistic reading their website and my husband was completely on board with him coming with us.  We were going to be watching him like a hawk.  We rejoiced in all the dairy-free meal options provided and the extraordinary measures Hershey takes to accommodate food allergies.  Hershey’s seemed totally doable even with the severity of my son’s allergies.

That was until his last anaphylactic attack which has turned my husband into the most over protective and overbearing father I never thought I’d see him be.  I can understand and be sympathetic.  A part of me even wanted to cancel the entire trip if I couldn’t have all my children with me.  I mourned that my littlest one would have to miss out.  It just didn’t seem fair at all.  That said, J & A were so over the moon about the trip and we had also found out several of our friends were going that very same weekend.  The kids were so looking forward to running into all their friends at Hershey.  There has been skyping and phone calls between them all.  It was decided that it was an opportunity not to be missed and the only trip we’d be taking this summer and we made the decision that M would stay behind with his grandparents.  Luckily he adores them and probably won’t miss us at all.

Already tears well up in my eyes at the thought.  I have never left him for more than a few hours and while I know you must let go at some point, I marveled that I have never been apart from them for more than a few hours.  It will be at minimal 60 hours away and at most 72 hours.  Waterworks.

Waterworks because I will miss him.  Waterworks because this is the life my son must live.  Deprived of family vacation experience because it is deemed dangerous to his health.  The air he breathes threatens constantly to be his last and I cry.  I cry because even at home he’s not as safe as he is with me.

About Suzanne Chan

Suzanne is student, daughter, wife, (labor & delivery) certified registered nurse, certified lactation counselor, friend, entrepreneur and blogger – but the job she's most proud of is mother… She shares her journey on this blog and The Disney Files. Read more about her here.

  • I’m sorry Suzanne. While I’m glad to be going with you, I feel bad that Marcus can’t go.

  • “Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it.” ~Albert Smith

    While you cry because of separation, disappointment, frustration, sadness and love.. ultimately you are doing the right thing by being the best mom to both of your kids. It hurts to see M deprived of joys other children get to partake in, and things others take for granted. It’s also not fair to restrict A from enjoying things she can do in life.
    I share your attachment, as it’s been a year and I spend every day no more than a few feet away from my daughter. There was one time when I was gone for 3 hrs, just that once, and I just missed her the entire time. Take comfort that he is in good hands and with ppl whom he loves and will be fine. Enjoy the laughter and love of the weekend that you can with A, and come back ready to embark on an allergy-friendly fun-time with M.
    His allergies are no joke, and will be a difficult challenge for his whole life. However, you are so strong mama.. and no doubt he has inherited much strength from you.
    What life and this world cannot let him have, you certainly make up for in pure LOVE.

  • I hope he is doing well with the grandparents and you and the rest of the family are having a good time. So hard to leave him behind. 🙁

  • Awe, it really is sad he couldn’t go. I’m guessing that even with the accommodations for people who suffer from food alergies he would still be at too much of a risk to go. I hope you had a great time and i’m sure in a few years you’ll be able to enjoy these momments with your little one.

  • I hope you had a great trip despite the allergies! I just saw a presentation at Mass General Hospital with one of their Allergist doctors. They are doing research to see if small doses of allergen can build up immunity but those with anaphylastic reactions were excluded from study for safety reasons. I’ll keep my eyes out for any more new research from Harvard for you.

    It was very nice to meet you at BlogHer12. Thanks for reaching out. I am a newbie and it was a tad overwhelming! Plus NYC is overwhelming for me in general!

  • It is so hard for those with allergies, so hard to do everyday things. It seems like you made a wise decision, I hope your family had a wonderful time.


Oops, something went wrong.



- Instagram feed not found.