A Labor of Love…

I’m a BIG chicken… not a huge fan of unpredictability. Now that having a BOY has sunk in and we’re really starting get excited on the home front, the questions of child rearing techniques has started… even with the most basic — am I going to deliver vaginally?! I’ve said often with this pregnancy, to people with raised eyebrows, that this pregnancy is definitely more trying than my last. I’d actually rather have Pubic Symphysis and be on bed rest than fight nausea at any given moment and trying to resist the urge to rip off every piece of skin on my body. They weren’t kidding when they said each pregnancy is so different from the previous. That scares me. I thrive on predictability. Some people think I’m crazy but I feel incredibly fortunate that my choices were so limited with Ava. Everything was so definite and defined. I had pubic symphysis. I had to stay in bed. I’d deliver by scheduled c-section. I’d be in the hospital for 4 days. I couldn’t question it, there were no options, it simply was. Each step of the way I knew what to expect, how things were going to go down. Of course there were a few unpredictable, or rather hiccups. I wasn’t suppose to throw up during my c-section, in theory they were prepared to counter act my allergic reaction to the anesthesia, but of course I did. The funny thing was I was already skeptical of the anesthesiologist when he said he was taking care of that part… I simply said you have no idea how nauseous I get. He said he got it, and of course he didn’t and I spent several minutes after Ava was pulled out of my stomach heaving into a plastic bin. You could say I was even prepared for that part too. Everyone said c-sections hurt, but dude! I had a broken pelvis! A c-section was a walk in the park! Now my doctor said at my last month’s visit, your pelvis looks good. It healed nicely, I don’t think it will break. He said with a huge smile, “You can try to deliver vaginally!” That one sentence put the fear of God in me…

My manicurist was shocked that I had a c-section and wanted another one. She said I simply had to have the experience of a natural childbirth. I thought she was crazy! Everyone who’s had one and rattled their tales to me, sounded like they had gone to war and back! Labor for 16, 20, 36 hours! Are they insane?! Being in pain for 5 minutes with cramps from my endometriosis had me begging for God’s mercy (granted by 5 minutes I usually passed out from the pain) and they wanted me to do this for some unknown amount of time?! I once was told that having severe cramps with my menses prepared me nicely for labor pains… are they kidding me?! Someone always had the horror story of water breaking, or missing the window for the epidural, laboring for 16 hours then given the c-section. Sorry, that last part just seems cruel. Working so hard and winding up with the same end result as I had with 4 days in the hospital for recovery seems like twice the work. Will my doctor think I’m totally nuts if I ask him at my next appointment if I can have a c-section AGAIN?

About Suzanne Chan

Suzanne is student, daughter, wife, (labor & delivery) certified registered nurse, certified lactation counselor, friend, entrepreneur and blogger – but the job she's most proud of is mother… She shares her journey on this blog and The Disney Files. Read more about her here.

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